After the Blast
by thedamnkeys
Summary: Following the events of Crisis Core, former Turk Cissnei attempts to rejoin the civilian world as she faces old wounds, old friends and a past that refuses to stay still.
1. Chapter 1

She stared at her phone, glowing bright in the darkness. The highlighted bar hovered over a name.

Zack Fair.

She couldn't. She just... couldn't. She pursed her lips, suffocated her gasps, held back her tears. She just couldn't. Even after the backlight shut off, she still stared at it blankly, like it would hold a prophecy, a secret.

It had been like this for the past few days. She'd work dull, mundane, routine missions to get her mind off things, but it wasn't working. Her mind would circle back to the longest, most compromising mission she'd ever done. What she had become, what she had done, for the past three years or so was suddenly null and void. It was for nothing and she couldn't deal with it.

Among strangers she'd see his face, hear his voice. In the crowds of SOLDIERs she'd see his uniform, his sword. She would turn and there he would be, waiting. And she'd cut through everyone, run towards the phantom, realizing that he was never there to begin with, that he wouldn't be there ever again.

She was going mad and the worst part was that she knew it.

She turned on her heel and left the city for the last time in civilian clothing, just like the first time she entered it. Her calf-length black combat boots laced over her skinny khaki cargo pants stepped in rhythm with the swishing of her loose black sweater, covering her otherwise bare arms and white tank top. She slung her messenger bag across her chest and carried Rekka close to her to avoid hitting anyone around her, not that there were many people to begin with.

"So you're... not coming back," Reno said to her as he made one last sweep of the city. She shook her head quietly, not looking up at him. "Hey... look at me. I'm not blaming you." He placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. "But... you're sure about this?"

She nodded wordlessly, fighting back the tears. For years, Shin-Ra and the Turks had been her home, her family. Now it was complete hell and torture. "My time's done here. Besides, I'm supposed to be dead." For all she knew, she really was.

"That can be fixed, you know that."

"Doesn't matter. I'm done with all of this."

He shook his head. "We're gonna miss you, little girl."

She dropped her head onto his chest and began to sob uncontrollably. "I failed," she said between deep breaths. "It was... I just..." She couldn't even finish her sentences. It was her job to look after him and find what he was up to and what happens? He goes and gets himself killed. "Why did he have to play hero? I can't, I just..." She feebly stamped her clenched fist on Reno's chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. "Hey, it was his choice, okay? Not yours, not mine, not anyone. We did what we could. Besides," he said as he lifted her head upwards with his hand on her chin, "you did the best of all of us. Stop crying, pretty girls shouldn't cry and they make me feel bad."

She looked away. "He had everything going for him and he threw it away. Like that."

"He didn't throw it away," he said very seriously. "Someone else is alive and everyone now knows what the hell Hojo does down there. It wasn't in vain."

Reno was right but it didn't make her feel any better. She let the tears flow freely as neither spoke. There were too many things she felt to be put merely into words. Anger, frustration, suffering, confusion, all of it and more simply jumbled into a mess of emotions somewhere in the depths. After several minutes, she finally let go and wiped away her tears with the sleeves of her sweater.

He led her towards a black motorcycle with a helmet hanging from the handle. The tall redhead put a set of keys in her palm and closed it for her. "Where will you go now, Cissnei?"

"Cissnei is dead. As for Eva Stronghold... we'll see. Stay safe, Reno."

He grinned and winked at her. "Can't do that. Turk."

She put on the helmet, turned on the bike and sped away from the desolate city. No looking back now, she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Eva awoke. Not with a start, not breaking out in a sweat, she simply awoke, as she always did. She sighed deeply as she stared at the ceiling. It had been the same dream for the third night in a row.

Sirens blared loudly at 4 in the morning. Eva rubbed her eyes then stretched out, back arching like a lithe cat. She sat up idly in her bed. No pills tonight, she thought. She was sick of having to take them to forget, to sleep without dreams, to actually rest. It was doing more harm than good, Eva felt.

She crawled out of her bed. Settling into the rolling chair across her bed, she turned on her computer. Might as well do something productive. The chunky black knit sweater was hanging haphazardly off one bare shoulder, mostly covering her arms and her navy blue pajamas. It didn't keep her legs from shivering with cold, though.

As the computer booted up, Eva grabbed the small, leather notebook that lied next to the mouse. "Same dream for third night," she wrote in pencil. "Much the same. Less color, more sound." She ran her fingers through her curly auburn hair.

Ping! Ping! Ping!

Her computer chirped serenely every few seconds. Eva looked up, puzzled. A mail icon blinked in time with the sound. She double-clicked the icon.

"What the…"

No subject, a corporate sender, no attachments. The e-mail had arrived to her work account. Eva set aside the notebook and the pencil, completely focused on the e-mail.

"Ms. Eva Stronghold," it read, "We at Shin-Ra Electric Power Corp. have heard much of your skill and positive reputation. We would like to meet with you this week, if possible, at our offices in Midgar. Please reply promptly with your answer."

She stared. And stared. And stared. And stared.

This could not be happening to her. Eva ran her fingers through her hair again. No. She was still dreaming.

The sirens blared again, loudly and even closer than before.

No, she was not dreaming. This was very real. She pinched and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Eva looked at her cell phone, chewed her lip. 4:17 AM, it glowed. "I won't call," she said to herself. But she found herself opening her black cell phone anyway. The cursor scrolled until the name Wyatt was highlighted. "I need an emergency session," she rapidly typed, "please say yes." The message was sent.

What the hell was this about?

She traced the IP address, finding that the e-mail was, indeed, sent from Shin-Ra headquarters. Now, not right now, please. Not ever. Just… no. Eva left for a reason.

But she couldn't refuse so easily either. Work was slow, dull even, and finding money to pay for the rent was starting to get more and more difficult with the reparation of Midgar. Surprising especially because the rent was already fairly low as part of an overall effort to bolster the economy and get things going again.

"Gods, I should've taken the pills," she groaned.

The cell phone began to flash and vibrate on the desk. She snatched it up and flipped it open.

"Yes. 10 AM sharp."

Eva sighed in relief as she thanked Wyatt.

She scrolled through her contacts again and dialed when she got to the one she was looking for. "C'mon, answer, answer, answer," she muttered desperately, tapping her fingers rapidly on her desk.

"Eva, sweetheart, it's 4 in the morning," the girl answered in a sleepy voice, "this better be good."

"Good is not the way I'd put it."

"… Something's wrong. Is it a guy, sweetie? I bet it is, ugh, I already told you a million_, _billion times to avoid those country boys like the plague. You're much better than that and we both know it."

"No, it's… it's not that Victoria. It's Shin-Ra."

Both went silent for a few seconds. "What about Shin-Ra?" Victoria asked very seriously.

"I got an e-mail from them. They're hiring me."

Silence again. Eva heard a shuffle of noise from the other side of the phone. "Hold on, I need to get comfortable before I keep talking to you." Eva rolled her eyes and moved back to her bed. "Why are they hiring you?"

"I don't know. They want me to meet with them in their office. They're pretty vague, but they're addressing me as Eva Stronghold."

"I don't think they'd use your Turk name in an e-mail. Cissnei isn't exactly a common name. It would be a dead giveaway."

"I know," she agreed.

"Who do you think they want to hire? Eva the PI or Cissnei the Turk?"

"That's exactly what I'm worried about."

"You know they could hire both if they wanted to, if they're that desperate." Victoria sighed lightly. "Wonder what they could want you for."

"There's not really a whole lot of things I could do."

"As a civilian," Victoria added. "You left like I did, but it doesn't mean they can't reel back in. Tsk, tsk, Eva, you should've come to Mideel with me like I said you should. You'd be completely and totally anonymous."

"You have a family, I don't."

"Oh, don't be so silly, you'd be perfectly fine here with me. We'd help you out. We were once Turks together, after all. It's not in me to leave such a poor, helpless soul that I know all alone."

"I'm not that helpless," Eva flatly said.

Victoria giggled. "Oh I do quite distinctly remember that you never were helpless as a Turk."

"Look I just… I don't know what to do," she said with resignation. "I need the money."

"Everyone does." Eva hears pages flip quickly. "Do you need for me to visit you, sweetie? Over in sort of dreadful Midgar?"

"It's not that bad. It's getting better."

"You still haven't answered my question," Victoria sang.

Eva thought about it for a few moments. "Wyatt wouldn't understand."

"Of course he wouldn't. He's a shrink, what does he know about being a Turk?"

Eva laughed at that. "You've got a point."

"I know I do. It'll be a few days from here to Midgar. In the meantime, just go and talk to them, see what they want. Stall if you can until I get there. I don't want you making any stupid decisions. Besides, I've yet to see the place for myself these days."

"Victoria?"

"Mmhm, sweetie?"

"… Thanks."

"Don't even mention it. Reno always said we were family and I look after all of my brothers and sisters. Even you, miss has-been."


End file.
